Kids and Parenting

The 5 values That You Should Inculcate in Your Kids Before 15

Parenting is a privilege, nay, it is a joy and also a responsibility bringing growth to both- the parent and the child – in the process.

But with responsibility comes great power. The power and the responsibility to strengthen roots and give wings so that they are beautifully grounded and also fly with the power of their dreams.

In this article, I look at values that we definitely need to inculcate in our children. The earlier the better and definitely by 15. Before peer pressure of teenagehood gets in the way.

1. Collaboration Not Competition

 It is easy to believe that the world we are inhabiting is a competitive place, a rat race and each one is in competition with another. This belief is hard enough on adults, imagine how hard it must be for a child/adolescent.

This breeds insecurity, jealousy, fear and complicates relationships.

A better perspective is collaboration. I leverage my strength and you leverage yours and together we are able to achieve something that none of us is able to achieve alone.

Teach them from the very beginning that ‘you only compete with your previous version’.Some parents worry that this attitude would lead to them doing badly at school and elsewhere. In truth, they will constantly improve themselves.

Well, in some cases, they might win fewer medals at school but they will bloom in the school of life. And isn’t that what counts.

2. Gratitude

It is easy to think of everything we enjoy as a right. Kids should be taught to delight in and be grateful for the little and big things, experiences, and all else.

Soon enough they start understanding that it is a privilege and not their birth-right.

That automatically makes kids grounded, cultivates respect and humility in their personality. They also become sensitive to the needs of others, specifically those less privileged than them.

What we consider as a normal life is someone’s dream.

The more they start becoming grateful, the more things there are to be grateful for.

Gratitude breeds contentment. A grateful child is a happy child.

3. Balance between Head and the Heart

The variety of classes that cater to the intellectual development of a child are many. Parents spend an enormous amount of money on sending their kids to numerous classes to help them score more in their subject. The head goes bigger and bigger and in some cases, so does the ego. 

Ever met a kid who seemed too smart and arrogant for his own good and you know what I am referring to. Insufferable.Chip on the shoulder. These are the terms we use to refer to these kids.

We as parents want to ensure that our kids are able to make a good livelihood and materially rich lives. This is all fine. But this is lopsided. A big oversized brain. And a small invisible heart. The perfect recipe for an unhappy life.

A more balanced approach would be to also pay conscious attention to the nurturing of the heart.

Having food together, sharing stories of ancestors, their difficulties and how they overcame them helps. Bonding with the older generation is a huge blessing in this regard. 

Connecting with Nature is another sure fire method. Nature is a repository of patience, of giving without expecting, of love conditional, of grace. 

The other activities that would help in this regard are volunteering for social causes and serving the underprivileged, the orphaned, the aged, and also animal-related causes.

Children should be taught mediations from a young age and taught to nurture their hearts by being kind, peaceful and loving. 

But for that, we have to first set an apt example. 

4. Handling Criticism the Right Way

It is becoming all to common to see kids taking extreme steps when something doesn’t quite work in their favour, or when someone says something negative.

If we have helped them in cultivating a kind happy heart and also taught them to be collaborative and not competitive, it becomes easier for them to handle criticism.

Sometimes, the person who is criticising is in a bad state themselves. The negative emotions inside them manifest as criticism. This can be understood from the manner in which the criticism is being delivered. Just like a tree lets go of all that does not serve its purpose, let go of the criticism and the negativity. 

And sometimes the criticism is a genuine one. It is more feedback than criticism. In which case, take the feedback and leave the rest. Like we eat some fruits and leave the seeds. Take what is beneficial and leave the rest.

These are simple things to teach our kids. The whole family has to work at inculcating these values.

With these values in place, the children we raise will grow up into responsible, beautiful adults.

Adults who will enrich the society that they are part of. Adults who are happy and fulfilled. After all,

whenever we see a well-raised kid, don’t we feel like meeting their parents.

Liked it? Leave a like, comment, and share with your loved ones. It could change somebody’s life.

Written by: sowspeaks ( Sowrabha Mahesh)

                   Proud member, DWH

#valuesby15 #sowspeaks #digitalwritopreneurshub #writingcontest #kidsandparenting

10 Surprising Benefits of Free Play for Toddlers and Preschoolers

Childhood is synonymous with play. If children are allowed, they would love to spend all their time playing. Playing is the fundamental right of every child. However, the busy schedule of parents and increased screen time has robbed many children of this right.

While playing, children use all their senses, so it is vital for their development and well-being.

This multi-sensorial experience leads to maximum learning and development. When children are playing, numerous neural connections are established in their brain, which helps them to learn new skills. With newly acquired experiences, they start forming new bonds while the old ones become strong, resulting in enhanced learning and retention.

There are two forms of play; structured and unstructured. Participating in sports, music or dance classes and attending group sessions and games organized by the community are a few examples of structured play.

Free play is unstructured with no definite goal. Adults may facilitate free play by providing materials and the environment, but the activity is completely performed by the child. The child can choose how he wants to use the materials and how much time he wants to spend with them. A simple game of pretend play with boxes or bed sheets is an example of free choice play.

Unstructured play enables the child to learn in an informal setting, making it a joyful experience that stays with him throughout life. Free play is not just meaningless passing of time, as it also contributes to vital learning during the formative years.

Here are ten benefits of free play for toddlers and preschoolers that will surprise you:

1. Enhanced Creativity and Imagination

There is no end to the imagination of a young child engrossed in free play. A cardboard box can become a house, a castle, a lion’s den, a soccer goalpost, or even a table.

2. Increased Problem-Solving Abilities

A child playing with various materials often encounters a problem which he needs to solve. While attempting to make a castle with blocks, the structure may fall or seem to be uneven. The child needs to identify the problem and try out different solutions to get the desired result.

3. Effective Social Skills

Group play provides many opportunities to enhance social skills effectively. The child learns essential skills, such as taking turns, expressing himself, communicating, and negotiating to reach a solution.

4. Development of Physical Skills

Children are happy when they are allowed to move freely. Physical activities that involve running, tumbling, jumping, climbing, kicking, skipping, and balancing result in better physical coordination, strength, and stamina.

5. Learning to Become Independent

When a child is playing without the assistance of an adult, he needs to manipulate materials, organize things, manage himself, and make decisions independently.

6. Building Self-Confidence

Being able to gain some control of himself and the environment boosts self-confidence.

7. Becoming Aware and Taking Care of the Environment

Outdoor play creates a sense of wonder as the child attempts to explore and understand his environment. Becoming familiar with nature helps the child to develop a sense of responsibility towards the environment.

8. Empathizing with Others

During pretend play, the child assumes different roles and learns how that character feels or behaves. For example, becoming a gardener, an auto driver, or a fireman helps him in learning to empathize with people from different occupations, religions, and backgrounds.

9. Learning Life Lessons

Free and unrestricted play allows opportunities for learning to happen in a real-life situation. The child tends to acquire valuable life skills while interacting with his environment.

10. Better Vocabulary, Communication, and Language Skills

Children interact independently with others during free play. As a result, they develop good vocabulary and enhance language and communication skills.

Facilitating free play is quite simple. All you need is a little imagination.

• Take the child outdoors to allow him to play while he explores and experiences nature.
• Empty cardboard boxes, jars, bottles, caps, and containers should be used during pretend play.
• Use blank papers and art supplies to help your child draw and paint as per his imagination.
• Arrange bed sheets, mats, pillows, cushions, and rugs to allow free movement.
• Hats, shirts, jackets, necklaces, and crowns serve as excellent clothes and fancy accessories for dress-up in pretend play.

A few hours spent in unstructured activity every day will make your child happy, who will grow up to become a healthy and happy adult. You can easily incorporate free choice play into your preschooler’s daily routine. All it takes is a little thought and some planning. If you cannot devote a few hours at a stretch, you could break it into shorter slots throughout the day.

You will start to notice the rewards of unstructured play within a few weeks. Your child will become resourceful, stop seeking your attention, and will begin to play independently. Now you know about the various benefits of free play for your child. Have you used these or some other strategies to help your child grow and become independent? Please share your experiences in reply to this post.

 Written by: Varsha Agarwal, Schoolteacher and Writer Turned Digital Writopreneur

Edited by: Rajinder Soni, Chief Mentor and Coach, Digital Writopreneurs Hub and Academy, New Delhi

Thank You Rajinder Soni Sir for this. A good beginning will get excellent results. I am confident about that!

@sowspeaks This is a very informative article. Thanks for sharing. 

@varsha thank you for taking the time to read and also leaving a comment. Glad you liked it.

I just read your article on free play. Our generation was all about free play and the generations now are all about structured play. So your article is very useful for young parents to realise the importance of unstructured play. Keep it coming!